The anxiety arising from the perpetual activity of the death instinct, though never eliminated, is counteracted and kept at bay by the power of the life instinct.-Melanie Klein

 She could feel her trembling feet moving forward. Her THANATOS directing her to end it right then. No need of such a futile life. No need of living amongst plethora of people who are always wearing the” masks of hypocrites”. Her psychache  was saping all her will to live. Her failure and anguish wanted her to leave this world .The pain of excessive guilt ,fear ,anxiety,lonliness wanted her to die badly.How does it feel to be betrayed afterall?

She made a  wrathful grimace at the joke of her life for the very last time!!!She muttered to herself “Nobody can hurt me anymore! Hahaha......”Who khew what would follow that evil smile..In that busy railway station the 22 year old felt estranged.Nobody eagered to stop Rishita!I wish anyone could see her broken heart.With her fierce heart she sprung in the railway line not for once willing to reconcile with her life......

Will her death instinct win over her life instinct?Major question!

And then what followed drawed at onced all the passengers attention.It all happened within a wink of an eye. Just like a successful magician performing his last and finest trick and all the spectator looking into the stage with awe and admiration to find out the trick,but ends up in “How is it even possible”?

Miracles do occur! I think miracles exist in part as gifts and in part as clues that there is something beyond the flat world we see.We just need to change our perception a bit.

No sooner did she sprang into the railwaylines than she heard a shriek voice echoing her heart”Save the puppy,Anyone please help!”In the meanwhile the traings arriving sound reverberated all the commuters .They frenzied here and there with bewilderment!Everyone pointed Rishita “save the puppy”.

Rishita ruminated,”But i am here to die!can’t anyone feel MY agony?She was in the middle of a enormous dilemma.Poor she little did she knew that the battle was her intrapsychic conflict!shall her death instinct take over her life instinct?She hardly cared for her life anymore but she adored the life of the puppy for sure.Some spiritual enery happened t emanate from her body,that’s when she ran for the puppy to save its life.

By God’s grace both Rishita and the puppy escaped the fatal journey with minor bruises.She took her home and named her ‘lily’ and hugged her as if she was the one who cared .And this was how the little lily added new chapters to Rishita’s life.

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience”, said I.Do you know class,” We are not built to be happy.Human brain has a negativity bias. According to neuropsychological researches ,  brains evolved this way in order to protect us. Early humans had a lot more to gain from focusing on what might harm them, than from what was pleasant. The human brain, therefore, is not designed to be generally happy”!

“But the ultimatum is the THANATOS ,the death instinct that decides if we live or we die , right maam?”, asked Esha.”yes ! Absolutely ,Sigmund Freud quoted in 1920 ‘The goal of all life is death’. Thanatos is the death instinct that pushes you towards the extinction.And most importantly  when some one experiences a traumatic experience in their life,  they would often reenact that experience. Thus we have an unconscious desire to die but that the life instincts largely temper this wish.Therefore it creates the suicidal ideationin us.

Now do you understand what happened to her?So dear students this is a little tale about Rishita where the her life instincts won over her death instincts!”I addressed to my class.”This is the end of todays psychology class.Please remember instead of worrying about what you cannot control,shift your energy to what you can CREATE.Next day we must talk about the psychological interventions of suicide prevention.Bye!!”

I could see some of my students eyes growing moist as much as mine.The dawn was purpling over the sky.I hurriedly put all the stuffs and headed towards my sweet home.As there was someone dotingly waiting for me:My dear Lily....

      © kaushiki chakrabarty