There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

Everyone has heard of the famous boy king, Tutankhamun, but the name of his beloved sister and wife Ankhesenamun is rarely uttered. The tragic life of Ankhesenamun was well documented in the ancient reliefs and paintings of the reign of her parents, the pharaoh Akhenaten and his great royal wife Nefertiti, until the death of Tutankhamun when the young queen seems to have disappeared from the historical records.

“THE LOVE THAT YOU WITHHOLD IS THE PAIN THAT YOU CARRY LIFETIME AFTER LIFETIME”

The sky gazed at the glorious mess of her colours and the trees witnessed the depressing sadness in her eyes.The unbrindled evening rain made my troublesome heart skip its beat.OH!These cognitive conflicts.I plodded along the dingy lane as fast as i could.I was at a striking distance from my doctor’s chamber.

 My heart which was just now parched,now grew moist with emotional turbulence.The sky is not only overcasted with clouds,the lightning continued to flash around me.I was ‘exhilaratedly- dreaded’ to my destiny.Like the monsoon sets in Kolkata,a stubborn dilemma sets in my heart as well.Was that  CONFABULATION? But that confabulation was to subtle to repress or deny.Neither the society nor HE will believe in that blatant truth.

WILL CHEERS AND JOYS NEVER RETURN IN MY LIFE?

There was this pleasure walking alone in the deserted lane and introspecting(retrospecting) my unreciprocated love...

My shoes are soon soaked with each step I take,I feel a puddle of water beneath my feet.The rain is hurling itself violently on the dark ;my hair is dripping with icy-cold raindrops which plummet to the earth.My mind reflexed to my past life regression.As soon as i lied in the couch of the dark room.My therapist started giving me some suggestive questions.And then i ‘VOO-SSHED’ into another parallel world and then my spiritual journey began.

‘It’s forbidden to fall in love...it’s meaningless.Merely touching the fingers is ok,but holding is prohibited.All the stories which I wanted to tell you were scattered around like petals around trees,you didnt' give me any reason to recollect them for you..So even though I miss you it’s forbidden to miss you’,uttered a man in his thirties,his strong bronze shoulders and his deceiving sweet smile mounted a rebellion in me.He looked into my eyes and his illusioned eyes filled my heart with sanguinity.Standing on the bridge once again he asked me,this time with fainted hopes.My head was banging with catch-22.It was HE! HE WANTED me desperately this time.A thunder of questions aroused my sympathetic system .  I shrieked,”We cannot be together!” who knew that my past life’s desperation would make me lament  my reincarnated life.No sooner did i look upon his downcasted face than he jumped from the bridge.

                               ...

A harsh scream followed a minute later when I came out of the revealing awe.My trembling hands reached for his letters and uncanny mind wanted immediate repression of the recent incident.I was running across the bridge to grasp for breath,when the HELL BROKE LOOSE! And  my foot slipped from the bridge.I squealed for life when the unnatural force of the river water annihilated us.A chill ran down my spine.When I opened my eyes I could feel the perspiration running down my neck.I started palpitating.I had to pour my heart’s content to HIM as soon as I could.I hastily moved out of the chamber.I clumped in the streets trodding towards his house .My desperation crept over me.It would be our culmination  of our forbidden endearment.

Now ,the rain heavily pouring in,the thunder rumbling its posthumous threat,often smearing my vision.Instantaneously,the booom of the thunder made a bright glare made my eyes oped.

                                  “BEEEPPPPPPPP-PBEEEEEEEEEEEP-WHIIIRRRRRRRRRPT- BOONNKK”.The car losing its track collided with me.

                                                                          ...

There was this unusual silence all around.The storm hushed.The world came to a standstill.Like”All the world’s a stage” and the limelight is on us.The silence broke for the last time when I heard HIS sigh, while I lay profusely bleeding.The pain that once burned like fire had faded away to icy numbness.Darkness filled the edges of my vision and the only thing I could hear was my own heartbeat.Then my breath came in shallow gasps.And then my fragile human heart beat one last time leaving all the pain behind.

THE LOVE THAT YOU WITHHOLD IS THE PAIN THAT YOU CARRY LIFETIME AFTER LIFETIME.

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BY KAUSHIKI CHAKRABARTY.